The last two weeks in January, my fiancé and I planned an amazing trip to Honolulu. It was her very first time to Hawaii, and I wanted it to be absolutely perfect for her. But let me just tell you – this trip was a complete nightmare. Buckle up because you’re in for a bumpy ride. 

It started off with me flying on a redeye from San Francisco to Chicago. My fiancé, who lives in Wisconsin, had to drive three hours to Chicago to meet up with me after working all night. Her flight became overbooked (we fly standby because of my flight benefits. Perks of being a flight attendant!) This part wasn’t so much of a disaster, just trying to set the scene. Once we were both in Chicago, we were able to get an entire row of 4 seats to ourselves for the long 9 and a half hour flight to Honolulu. This was perfect because we were able to take turns laying out and taking a nap. By the time we landed in Honolulu, we were more than ready to explore and just truly enjoy our first vacation as an engaged couple. 

Well…. this is where everything went wrong. We got in the shuttle to the hotel, and as soon as we started driving away, my internal warning light started flashing. We ended up leaving my laptop on the plane. Completely panicked, I started calling the airport, the airline, customer service, baggage claim, lost and found. But of course by the time I called, everything was closed in Honolulu and wouldn’t open until 8am the next morning. I left plenty of messages and just prayed that someone would find my laptop over night. We ended up having a great first night, just walking to the beach for the sunset, picking up some groceries, and heading back to the hotel. Ordered from UberEats, and they forgot some of our food! It wasn’t the end of the world but it was our first meal in Honolulu and it would’ve been nice to actually try all the food we had ordered and paid for. 

The second day we went out to the pool several times (the sun kept playing hide and seek with the clouds) and found a great luau for that night. The luau was amazing! Delicious food, drinks were alright, the hosts and hostesses were amazing, and the entertainment was perfect. When we had our picture taken as well, we nailed it! It’s hard sometimes getting the right shot the first time around for us because she’s 6’1 and I’m 5’4, not to mention we are completely different shades and lighting can make one of us completely disappear (she’s white, I’m black). Photographing us is not as easy task, so bravo to the photographer that night! 

The next day we decided to change our hotels just to get a different view of the island. The hotel we first stayed at was nice, but we wanted to get a bit closer to downtown Waikiki. The second hotel was perfect! They checked us in early, gave us an upgraded room, and even had free continental breakfast each day we stayed. But this is when everything started going downhill FAST. 

Be prepared, this may be TMI. I got my period the third day. Which isn’t that big of a deal, but I’m on vacation. The last thing I want to do is worry about all that going on, especially considering I want to go swimming in the ocean! My plan was to spend the entire week in my bikini, and I just felt gross and my stomach was hurting. Also, she started getting sick. At first we just thought maybe it was from too much sun or she had picked up a little cold. But overnight, it went from feeling tired to full on sneezing, coughing, body aches, and fever. Poor thing! I felt so bad, but I was miserable too. 

We both weren’t feeling well, and just ended up snapping on each other for the rest of the trip. We tried salvaging the trip by going to the zoo, going out for lunches and dinners. We even tried paddle boarding. Now this is where our vacation just got to be so ridiculous. After laying out on the beach for a couple hours, I finally convinced her to try paddle boarding with me. I’ve done stand up paddle boarding several times and I absolutely loved it. I thought she would really enjoy it because it’s a great exercise without really feeling the burn. Well, she didn’t enjoy it. Granted, neither did I but it was just a bad idea from the beginning. The company we rented from only had one typical board left, and gave her a thinner but longer board. We started out just fine, but by the time we got out a bit the waves were a little rougher. As sick as she was, she just couldn’t handle the waves. I looked back at her, and she was on all fours dry heaving into the Pacific Ocean. After getting over the bought of sea sickness, she couldn’t figure out exactly how to work her board and we were drifting apart LITERALLY. Next thing you know, we are SCREAMING at each other 50 yards away. I’m trying to convince her to just go back to shore, and she’s trying to convince me that she’s fine and we can stay out longer. We eventually just made it back to the beach and called it a day. 

Our trip ended earlier than we would’ve liked and instead of going back to California for a couple days to spend time with my family, we decided to fly back to Chicago so I could get her home and feeling better instead. We got another row of 4 seats together, and she slept the entire flight. Once we landed in Chicago, I drove us home to Wisconsin and spent two days trying to get her better. 

Now let me get back to the first disaster of our trip. My laptop. I called and called every single day, every couple hours, trying to get ahold of anyone who could help me find my laptop. And, nothing. Every phone number I was given just went to voicemail and I was slowly starting to lose my mind. When we went back to the airport to fly to Chicago, I stopped by baggage claim lost and found, hoping that they found something. They didn’t have any news for me, but did say they would call as soon as they found it. Well guess who got a call the night we got back to Chicago. Yup, they found my laptop. Except they couldn’t confirm that it was mine because it was dead and they needed the serial number for the laptop. If you know me at all, you know I’m one of the most organized people in the world, but guess who didn’t have the serial number to her laptop. Once again, yup- no serial number that I could find. After stocking up on NyQuil and cough drops, I had to leave Wisconsin and fly on ANOTHER 9 and a half hour flight to Honolulu to try to get my laptop back. I get to baggage claim lost and found, walked in and found my laptop (WHICH WAS STILL CHARGED TO 90% BY THE WAY!!!!) and then flew on a redeye back to San Francisco. 

End of nightmare. 

Even just saying the name Hawaii makes my stomach churn. What was supposed to be an amazing, romantic, blissful vacation turned into a complete disaster where we argued and slowly lost our minds. I can say this though, even though both of us were completely miserable, we still laughed with each other harder than we ever have before. After we got home, talked out our silly arguments, we knew that this vacation made us stronger than ever. If we can get through a disaster trip, we can get through anything. This was the first of many tough times for us to get through, but the fact that we got through it together, still loving each other, taking care of each other even when we both felt yucky, just proves that we really are supposed to be together. 

It might be quite awhile until we go on a vacation again, but when we do, we’ll be ready for whatever the world throws our way. 



It’s the beginning of February, and I’m just now coming up with my goals for this year. (Please don’t judge me!) Here are my goals, in no particular order: 

  1. Move my life to Wisconsin. It’s about darn time! I spend about half of home time, in Wisconsin. (When I say home time, I mean the few days a month that I’m not traveling the world.) It’s not going to be easy, especially with my schedule and her schedule, but it’s getting harder and harder to be away from her and our lives are coming together quickly. It’s going to be really hard to say goodbye to California, to my family, to everything that I’ve ever known. But I’m excited for what the future holds for us. 
  2. Working harder on my blog. I want to revamp this whole thing! Instead of focusing on my depression, I want to focus more on my everyday struggles and life changes. This is a time in my life where nothing is staying the same, and I want to be able to document those changes, share my feelings, and show other people that it’s okay to not be okay with change. 
  3. Continue with my education. If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I have started taking classes to (FINALLY) finish my college degree. I decided to take a break from school during the holidays, and honestly I need to continue that break. Working and spending half of my time in California and the other half in Wisconsin just doesn’t leave much room for studying, papers, and actually focusing on my education. Once I move, I plan on picking right back up where I left and hopefully finishing my degree in a couple years. 
  4. Stop stressing myself out. I’m not perfect. I need to remember that. There are going to be times where I just can’t do everything. I need to learn how to ask for help and stop being such a control freak. The best part of having a partner is that I don’t go through anything alone, and yet I’ve been pushing her away because I think I have to be the one to handle everything. Definitely not the case. 
  5. Enjoy my life. I’ve had so many years of struggles, frustrations, and just being downright sad all the time. I can’t control life’s curveballs, but I can control my reactions. It’s time for me to start living, to enjoy the little moments, and just be happy. 

What are your goals for 2018? What are you willing to change to make this year your best year yet?