Lately I’ve been struggling with the idea of trying medication. An anxiety prescription, something stronger for depression, or even a natural remedy to help with anxiety and depression.
Part of me feels like I’ve gotten to the point where I need that help. I need something to help me get out of my head, something to make me not feel as much. I’m a very emotional person in general, and my depression just amplifies that. I used to just cry over sweet commercials, touching birthday/holiday cards, or a sad ending to a movie. But in the past few months it has grown into something ridiculous. I cry on the plane, thinking too long about something close to me, even getting overwhelmed by the smallest thing can bring me to tears.
Would medication help that? Would medication make me numb? I don’t want to lose who I am. I know I’m an emotional person, and sometimes it would be nice to have a break from that. But I’m afraid that medication would cloud my mind, it would change who I am and maybe not for the better.
I rather be unapologetically myself than a numb version of myself. Trying medication has always been tempting for me, but I think it’s best for me to get to the bottom of my depression and not just attempt to calm the symptoms. Everyone is different, every person’s depression is different. Medication may work for some, medication may not work for others. I’m standing firm with my decision to not go down that route. I think that is the best way for me to heal, is to do it on my own and find different outlets for myself.
I’ve been trying really hard to find the things that make me happy. When I get down, I know how to make myself feel a little bit better. Whether it’s reading a book, baking cookies, going for a long drive, visiting my siblings, just taking a day to relax in bed and watch movies. I can find things to pick myself back up, and until those things don’t work for me, I won’t look towards medication.
“If there’s just one piece of advice I can give you, it’s this- when there’s something you really want, fight for it, don’t ever give up no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you’ve lost hope, ask yourself in ten years from now, you’re gonna wish you gave it just one more shot because the best things in life, they don’t come free.” – Meredith Grey
I am so excited! I am headed to Geneva, Switzerland! Just because! I have an entire month off of work, and I have decided to spend it traveling the world. What better way to enjoy my vacation than to jump on a plane, and go to a country I’ve never been to?
I’m currently on hour 5 of 8 on this flight from IAD (Washington D.C.) to GVA (Geneva, Switzerland) and I just could not be more spoiled! Not only was I upgraded to a lie flat seat, I’ve been sipping on mimosas all flight, lying back with Saks Fifth Avenue blankets and pillows, and eating ice cream with M&Ms.
This is honestly the perfect way to start off my new year. I haven’t ever traveled to another country without my family, or as an adult for that matter. I’ve really needed to get away and just explore, so why not Geneva? Switzerland is supposed to be one of the most happy countries, with kind people and the BEST chocolate in the entire world (obviously!).
I can’t wait to show you all my adventure!
Today starts not only the beginning of a new year, but the beginning of my ONE MONTH VACATION!!!!! I am so excited to take an entire month off of work and finally relax. I am planning on spending January traveling the world, spending quality time with my family and friends, and focusing on myself. I’ve spent way too much time working and not pampering myself, and I believe that it is finally time that I take a break.
Thinking back, I can’t even remember the last time I’ve had a month off of work or school. I’d have to say it was the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. As soon as I graduated high school, I went straight into a summer program at Washington State University and was only home a week before the fall semester started. After my freshman year of college, I went straight into the workforce and never took more than a week off. Even when I moved, I only had about two weeks between jobs. Is 23 too young to be a workaholic?
This time off is so very long overdue, and I just cannot wait to start my adventures! I’m hoping to visit Switzerland, Australia, Hawaii, Florida, and New York before the end of the month. I need to spend some time with my family and friends that I’ve neglected the past year and a half because of work. I am going to be sure to spend not only my vacation month but the rest of 2017 counting my blessings and trying to see the positive in every situation.