DREAM JOB

When you were a little kid, what was your dream job? What did you always want to do? What made you so excited you just couldn’t wait to grow up? 

Now here’s a better question… Are you doing that? Are you doing exactly what you wanted to do? Are you in the career that you rushed through your childhood to get to? 

Mine was teaching. I wanted to be a teacher. (Still do, if I’m being completely honest.) I remember pretending to be a teacher and my younger siblings would be my students. I would pretend to make lesson plans and organize projects like my current teachers would. I was inspired by how kind my teachers were, how they were there to help me not only with school but with life. I have some favorite teachers that truly stood out to me, they are the ones that inspired me. 

But life got in the way. When did I stop pursuing my dream and start living? When did I just give up? WHY did I give up? 

Life knocked me down a couple times. Hard. 

I know I mentioned that I’m a flight attendant and I’m loving my job. I am. Do I wake up every morning excited to go to work? Depends on the flights and where I’m going. Do I feel like I am doing what I was put on this earth to do? No. I don’t hate my job, I do enjoy it. It’s just not my DREAM. It’s not what I’ve imagined myself doing since I was five. My girlfriend has dreamt of being a police officer since she was five, and that’s exactly what she’s doing. (I’ll be writing more about the lifestyle of dating a LEO {law enforcement officer}) Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I live out my dream?

Have I gotten too old for my dream job? Has my dream job changed? To be honest, I don’t even know WHAT I would do if I had the monetary means to do whatever I pleased as far as a career. Would I want to be a rocket scientist? Well, I had to bake my biology teacher brownies so I could pass the class… Probably not. Would I want to be a chef? I once spilled blue kool-aid powder all over my friend’s floor and stained her linoleum.. I should probably stay out of the kitchen. Would I want to be a veterinarian? I’d bawl my eyes out every time I’d have to put a dog down.. and I’d probably end up with 47 of my own at home. So I stick with my dream of being a teacher. I love kids. I love math and reading, obviously I love to write. (I’m a bit of a nerd.) I’m a sucker for planning, organizing, and having a routine; not to mention I’d love every summer off. Teaching just makes sense. 

Am I playing it safe? Am I boring? Is it incredibly passive of me to just want to teach for the rest of my life when I haven’t explored many options? I think I’d be happy being a teacher. But what do I know? I have a hard enough time deciding which flavor pop tart I want in the morning. (Strawberry? Raspberry? Cherry? Ooh, Wild Berry!)

One day, I hope to go back to college. I hope to get my degree in Education. I hope to be a teacher one day. I slightly feel like life is passing me by, and I’ve missed my window going to school. (I know, I’m being ridiculous. I’m only 22, I can go back to school WHENEVER, I just feel a lot older than my age.) When will that day come? I have no idea. Will I actually go back to school and become a teacher? No clue. But I have hope that life will show me the right time to go after my dream job. 

I just want to thank the incredible teachers I have had throughout my education. A special thank you to Ms. Richins, Ms. Stevens, Mrs. Neumann, Mrs. Carson, and Ms. Perry for all your kindness and support! 

RAINY DAY IN ROCHESTER

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Spending a rainy day here in Rochester, New York! When I picked up this trip, I was planning on exploring the city, having some New York style pizza, working on my photo taking skills (my first flat lay by the way- so don’t judge! I’m pretty impressed with my creativity lacking self) and maybe even a bit of shopping. But Mother Nature was having none of it! Considering I just straightened my hair and its 36 degrees and raining- I’ll be enjoying the city from the hotel room and my king size bed. I could’ve been bummed about not getting out, but I’m staying positive and catching up on shows (hello, Grey’s Anatomy!) and working on the blog. Best part about rainy days? Not having to get dressed or put makeup on! 

THE BEST SANGRIA

I did promise I would write about the best sangria I have ever had, so here it is. Prepare to be amazed! 

When I was in Vancouver, Canada one of my coworkers decided we needed to day drink and explore the city. (Day drink = acceptable excuse to drink before 5pm) Every bar we stopped at was closed until 11:30am and we just weren’t willing to wait that long. 

Finally we stumbled upon a bar on the edge of the water named Tap & Barrel. Such a cute little place with an amazing menu! So many local beers on tap (I’m not much of a beer drinker- but the bartenders KNOW their stuff!) I ended up having a mimosa (turned into a couple mimosas- don’t judge) and had a giant sea salt pretzel. The pretzel was so darn good, I definitely considered ordering a second one.. But decided to order another drink instead. 

The bartender, Dax, was so friendly and fun! He was just chatting with us, telling us where we should go to explore, and even invited us out to the other bar that he tends at night. 

Now let me get to the most amazing part. The sangria. Oh this sangria! Have you ever been to Jamba Juice and ordered a Razz Ma Tazz? It tastes like that. Except adultier. More delicious. It made me feel healthy and classy and oh so grown up all at the same time. No doubt about it- this was the best alcoholic drink I have ever had in my entire life. 

I cannot wait to go back to visit Dax and have another sangria. Or three. It was just that good. For the record, I did ask him the ingredients and he did tell me. But the mimosas might have possibly made me a little fuzzy and I can’t remember anymore. (No judging!) Something about orange juice, grenadine, and sprite? 

If you are ever in Vancouver, take some time and stop by Tap & Barrel and order a sangria!

 

HOW DO I MAKE FRIENDS?

I am twenty two years old, and I do not have any friends. 

I’m being just slightly dramatic of course, I do have FRIENDS. Friends that I’ve met through work over the past couple years, occasionally hanging out or catching up over the phone. But do we talk every day or every week? No. Do we see each other every week or even every month? No. Do I feel like I can call them crying and they’ll drop everything to be there for me? No, I don’t.

What made me come to this realization? Well, I was thinking about my one day wedding. (One day = years from now.) Who would I have by my side on the happiest day of my life? My sister is only 6, I couldn’t ask her to be my maid of honor and expect her to help with planning the wedding. Don’t get me wrong- she would LOVE to do my makeup, but I don’t plan on walking down the aisle with hot pink lipstick and frosty blue eyeshadow. Who would be my maid of honor? I don’t really have anyone. 

I’m not friends with anyone from high school or college anymore. Sure, we’re connected on Facebook and Instagram, but are we REALLY friends? Not so much. The people I consider friends, I’ve only known for less than two years. I used to have so many friends in high school. My mom would drop me off at school on a Friday night for the football game and I’d walk in not knowing who I would hang out with, but I’d always meet a group of people and have an amazing time. I had no problem meeting new people, and I was consistently invited out and always do something different. But now? I couldn’t tell you the last time I was invited by anyone to do anything. 

Where did my friends go? Did life just move us all in different directions? Was I a bad friend? Was I too selfish, too needy, too weird? Did they not really like me? How bad of a person must I be to not have any friends? To not be invited or included in anything. 

How do I go about making new friends? It was easy when I was in school, you had a class with someone and then BOOM! A new friend! Easy peasy. (How the heck do you even spell peasy?!) But now that I’m an adult (or trying to be an adult) how do I go about making new friends? It’s terrifying thinking about walking into a bar not knowing anyone and trying to make conversation. It’s like dating. I don’t like dating!

It’s really lonely when you don’t have friends. When you don’t have someone to call and invite over to just watch a movie and stuff your face with popcorn. It’s hard on your self confidence when you’re never invited to go shopping or go on a road trip. You know, I’ve never been on a road trip with friends. It’s lonely. I’m lonely. 

I miss having friends. I miss being included.