MY TINY VICTORY

Being inspired by my last post to celebrate every tiny victory, I decided to share how I overcame this past weekend. 

I was having a hard time with my emotions, I felt myself breaking down and not wanting to talk to anyone. I had to work a trip to Vancouver, Canada with a long layover, and I just didn’t know if I could make it through the day. 

I had planned on getting to my hotel and hiding out from the world, having a dark day. But the amazing crew I was working with was having NONE OF THAT! They helped me pull myself together for the flight and then took me out for the rest of the day in Vancouver. We explored the city, the bars (just had the most DELICIOUS sangria ever- I’ll  be posting soon), and overall had a really nice time just laughing and exploring the city. 

I made it through the day. 

I thank my two new friends for helping me find the light in the dark day that I was having. Without them, I might not have made it through. 

That was my tiny victory for the weekend. What was yours? 

IT’S FRIDAY!

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Celebrate. You did it. Another week in the bag. You have succeeded in living today. Relax. Unwind. Do what makes you smile. Don’t stress about this week- it’s behind you. Don’t stress about next week- it’s not here yet. Celebrate that you made it through another day and you are stronger because of it. You. Have. Won. 

WHAT IS YOUR FAMILY HISTORY?

Working a flight to Austin, Texas recently I had an awkward experience that I just have to share and get out of my head. 

I was boarding the flight and a gentleman stopped me, leaned in and said, “I just have to say, you have the most gorgeous eyes.” Wow, okay a little odd but still, it’s always nice to hear a compliment or two. Especially considering I have gained a few pounds in the past couple weeks (I blame it on my happy relationship LOL) and I just threw my hair back in a bun that morning. I said thank you and continued boarding the rest of the customers. 

During the flight, the same guy came to the back of the plane and asked for my name as he was waiting to use the restroom. I told him my name and the other flight attendant casually included the guy in our conversation. The guy then turned to me and asked the question. 

“What is your family history?”

Now, I mentioned this in my introduction (at least, I think I did. If not, oops!) I am half African American and half Spanish/Portuguese. I do know that sometimes people are unsure if I am full African American or if I am mixed with another race. I have been asked many many times, “What are you mixed with?, “Are you full black?” etc. But those were asked by people who were my friends or had seen pictures of my family. I don’t mind being asked what my heritage is, I find nothing wrong with that. For some reason, this question really irritated me though. 

What is my family history?

When he first asked, my automatic response was.. “Well, I was raised in California. My mom is a flight attendant like myself and my dad works in the Silicon Valley.” Funny how after years and years of being asked about my heritage, that’s still my innocent response. 

But then I realized what he was really asking. Why did he need to know? He was more than twice my age, so I knew it wasn’t a pick up line. Was he just curious? I doubt he was coming from a malicious place, but why would he ask? It’s none of his business. 

I looked at my coworker who was just sitting there with a shocked look on his face, and I responded slowly. “Um, I’m half African American and half Spanish.” His eyes opened wide and asked without hesitation, “Oh, Spanish? Like from Spain?”

At this point, I’m not only completely over this conversation but I’m realizing I’m entertaining someone who is uneducated and unaware. I respond with a quick, “Yes.” and turn my back to finish the conversation with the other flight attendant. 

Why do people feel the need to know what others are made of? Do I go around asking people what their blood type is? Or what color underwear they’re wearing? Neither of those answers are going to change my life in any way at all, no is it going to keep me up late at night.

All in all, just stop to think about how something will affect someone before you ask them a question about themselves. How will they take this question? Will it make them hurt? Will it make them self conscious? Will they be willing to share? 

Is it acceptable to ask?

What is your family history? 

 

 

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF HAPPINESS

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Today is International Day of Happiness. Do not forget those that may appear to be happy but are silently suffering. Hug all of those around you, and help the ones who are “fine”. Take them to lunch, hold their hand, distract them for just a minute, and say you love them. If you can, be happy for yourself, be happy for your loved ones, and be happy for those who can’t. 

TIME FOR A (CAREER) CHANGE

When I was 18 years old, I started my journey as a working woman. My very first job was as a barista at Starbucks. Funny part was that I don’t drink coffee, or any caffeine for that matter! I moved to another city, and worked my way up from a cashier to an administrative assistant with a growing retail company. After opening several stores in my area, I was confident in my abilities and felt secure with my job. I’d wake up early each morning, work all day long, come straight home, and wouldn’t leave my safe haven until the next morning. That was my Monday through Friday schedule. No dinners with friends, rarely saw my family, I did nothing outside of work. But then I started thinking, is this all there is to life? Am I living up to my full potential? Sitting behind a computer all day, sending emails, and setting up interviews? What was even worse.. I started dreading going to work each day. I knew it was time for a change when I would find any excuse to go in late, leave early, or not go at all. I didn’t feel challenged, I didn’t feel like I was growing as a young woman. I was 22 years old, and felt like I was wasting my life!

But what was I going to do? I don’t have a college degree, nor much experience in the working world. I didn’t have the slightest clue what I wanted to do as far as a career (to be honest, I still don’t know). I tried keeping my feelings to myself, so no one would know I was miserable. One day I just couldn’t pretend to be okay anymore and I broke down to my mom. I told her exactly how unhappy I was with my job and my life, but I didn’t know how to change it for the better. My mom’s company was hiring- she’s a flight attendant. Now if you know me at all, I am VERY stubborn and I have a hard time accepting someone else’s ideas as my own. Not to mention, I hate the idea of change and changing my career was MAJOR. My mom spent months trying to convince me to apply. She reassured me that I was exactly what the hiring managers were looking for: young, fun, friendly, outgoing. I’d be the perfect flight attendant. (For the record, I still don’t think I’m outgoing nor perfect, but I can sure fake it til I make it!)

After months of her convincing, I made up my mind. I need a job to broaden my horizons (literally!) and would force me out of my comfort zone. So I applied to be a flight attendant. Just three interviews and three weeks later, I had packed two suitcases bigger than me and went off to Houston, Texas for training!

And so began my fabulous (and completely exhausting) lifestyle and career change as a flight attendant! 

TIME TO FLY

So I did promise that I would write a post about my training with my airline, how it went, how I dealt with the stress and the changes to my life. I decided instead of just one post, I am going to start a chapter here on StuckOnTheKitchenFloor titled “Flight Life” to give you more insight on my daily life as a flight attendant. I hope you all enjoy and read once I get it up and running. 

My first post in Flight Life will be posted tomorrow! 

DARK DAY

Sometimes I have a dark day. 

A day where I do nothing more than try to sleep as long as possible, stay in bed in the dark as long as possible, and then sit in front of the TV until it’s time to go to bed again. Sometimes when the thoughts are too loud in my head, I do anything to distract myself from the noise. But whenever I have a dark day, I also stay away from people. All people. The people that can read me and know when I am having a bad day even if I pretend I’m okay, and the people who don’t know me at all. It’s scary when I have a dark day- to know that I don’t have energy to live life, to lie and pretend I’m okay. So I just sit there and try to distract myself. I can’t play Solitaire or a game on my phone- my mind tends to wander. I can’t watch anything with a hint of romance or friendship or anything that I feel I’m missing out on. (FYI- good shows to watch: Grey’s Anatomy, 2 Broke Girls, Shark Tank, and Jeopardy).

Sometimes I’ll have the days where even though I know I need to, I can’t convince myself to get up and take a shower. The days where I force myself to take a sleeping pill so I won’t wake up each hour from a nightmare and then spend several hours staring at the ceiling wondering how my life got to be the way it is. The dark day where all I do is cry over the simplest things- an old lady on TV, my favorite pillow fell off the bed and I don’t have the energy to get it. I’ll cry if I have a missed call from my mom, I snapped at someone who was just concerned if I was okay, a commercial about the armed forces. 

Those are the days where I am at my worst. The days where I can’t even depend on myself to pick myself up. The days I can’t even fathom living in society. So I hide. I hide and try to do anything to distract myself until it’s nighttime again. I pray that tomorrow will be a better day. That when the sun rises, I’ll wake up and want to try to be happy. I’ll wake up and shower, do my hair and make up, even put on a nice outfit. Maybe I don’t go out that day, but at least I’ve pulled it together a little bit. Or maybe tomorrow will be just as dark as the day before. Or darker even- when I do nothing but sleep or cry. 

All I know is that each day is a surprise. I’m lucky to wake up and be breathing. If it’s a good day, I can go about my day and accomplish a thing or two. I can participate in society, I can have conversations, and my loved ones won’t worry. If it’s a dark day, I know how to hide myself away and fight through the darkness to just make it to tomorrow. But I KNOW that I can make it to tomorrow. It won’t be easy, my heart will hurt, but I CAN make it to a better day. 

I’m learning that it is OKAY to have a dark day, that it is OKAY to have a good day, that it is OKAY to have a great day. Understand when it’s a dark day, feel blessed to have a good day, and change the world on a great day.