SELF LOVE

I’ve spent the past twenty four years of my life taking care and loving others. I’ve tried so very hard to keep everyone happy, to never disappoint those closest to me. I’d do anything for my loved ones, and I’d put myself through anything so they would be happy and safe. But I’ve finally realized that I have been doing it at my own expense. 

When it comes to the relationships in my life, I have always put the other person first. I wanted to make them proud, always keep a smile on my face, and felt the need to prove that I was worthy of their time and love. I was so focused on proving my worthiness, that I forgot to determine if they were worthy of MY time and love. 

It’s taken me way too long to understand my worth, to see my potential, and to know that I deserve to have supportive, ambitious, caring people in my life. I allowed too many people to take up too much of my time when they shouldn’t have been in my life. I learned lessons, had my feelings hurt too many times, and lost my self worth along the way. It won’t be easy, but I’m trying to gain my self confidence back. I’m starting by changing the way I see myself, and to remember to love myself first. 

CANNOT WAIT FOR NEW YORK CITY!

I am just so excited! I picked up a trip to New York City in two weeks. I’ll have 32 hours to explore and I’m like a kid in a candy store. I have never been to NYC before, and can’t wait to experience the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple. Coming from California, I know that my personality is the complete opposite of the east coast. But since I started flying, I’ve become a bit obsessed with the other side of the U.S. I can’t wait to share all of my adventures in NYC, wish me luck in not getting lost! Maybe I’ll even try the subway for the first time! If you have any suggestions or tips for my trip, please let me know! 

CHILDHOOD DREAMS

What was your childhood dream? For me, it was to be a teacher. Well that was my more realistic childhood dream. Of course I wanted to be a singer. I swore up and down that I would do whatever it took, I’d take as many classes as I needed, I would be a singer. I’d be famous. I’d go on tour, I’d have several albums, and everyone would want my autograph. But everyone dreamt of stuff like that, right?

Some people wanted to become famous athletes, some wanted to be astronauts or fire-fighters. But when did life knock us down and make us give up on our dreams? Or was it ever really our dream? What if our ideas of being superstars, law enforcement officers, and athletes were forced upon us because those were the first type of jobs that we ever experienced? Think about it. You saw the superstars either on TV, in the movies, on the radio, and they looked so glamourous. You saw police officers and fire-fighters everyday on the streets, or handing out sticker badges at fairs and school events. Athletes are constantly idolized for their talent on the field and on TV. What if we had been introduced to scientists, doctors, engineers at a young age? Would our dreams have changed? Where would be now as a society if we always had the goal of becoming a Nobel Peace Prize winner instead of a Grammy Award winner? Don’t take this wrong, I know it takes an incredible amount of hard work and dedication to become a Grammy Award winner, I’m not knocking any of them down. But I wonder where we’d be with research, with a way of life, if we had focused on realistic dreams?

BEING AN ADULT SUCKS (SOMETIMES)

I’ve finally realized what the hardest part about being an adult is. No, it’s not paying bills,  actually eating your vegetables, falling asleep on the couch and not magically being transported to your bed, and it’s not even the making your own doctor’s appointments part. It’s the fact that we no longer get a summer vacation. 

Growing up, you always looked forward to summertime. No school, no bed time, you got to spend all day with your friends, you could sleep in as long as you’d like. And if you were lucky, you went on a family vacation somewhere awesome! But when you’re an adult, or at least when you graduate school, it all stops. All of a sudden everyone expects you to work ALL THE TIME. Fourth of July, you’re working. Your annual neighborhood BBQ? Forget it, you have to work. Your family wants to go camping next weekend, sorry you can’t go because guess what, you’re working. 

It’s especially hard when you’re the oldest, or you have younger siblings that still get a summer break. Summer is when parents normally plan vacations or fun activities to do during the day. But when you’re an adult, you don’t get to just drop your plans and go do something fun. You don’t even get to sleep in longer! 

Now don’t think that this is just a negative post filled of complaints about how much being an adult sucks. Sometimes, summer can be even better when you’re an adult. Want to guess why? No rules. No parents telling you to be home by 11pm. You can have two popsicles and some goldfish for dinner because you don’t feel like turning on the oven if you want. Too hot in your room to sleep in pajamas? Sleep naked, your mom won’t walk in! You want to go to that party with the friends your parents didn’t always approve of? Go for it, live it up! You’ll have a nasty hangover in the morning, but who cares?! Get that urge to go on a spontaneous road trip? Jump in your car and go! No need to ask for permission, it’s your life. You might be tired for work the next day, but living life and enjoying the moments are worth way more than a few more dollars in your bank account. Don’t get me wrong- don’t quit your job to enjoy the summer. But also don’t be afraid to sacrifice a little bit of cash to create a couple more memories. All I’m saying, summer comes once a year. The weather is amazing, the possibilities are endless, and maybe (just maybe) summer is better as an adult.